A woman’s skirt has a lot of power and the shorter it gets, the more fatal it gets. It doesn’t help that leggings have become a staple in our closets. They just let us get away with more. So go and flaunt your goods with the Chastity Yardstick Leggings, and show those boys the measurement of your game. After all, there’s a difference to being sensual and peligrosa/dangerous. Watch out for yourselves, boys. And don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Chastity Yardstick Leggings are available from Curiosite for $21.60.

[via Gizmodiva]

And much to my horror, she’s doing many of these tutorials directly onto her nails.

How did I watch that entire thing!?!? Not as a dig on dear Flyndia here, obviously she is very skilled, but man, this makes me uncomfortable. Granted, I’m the kind of person that finds nail polish to be too high maintenance and I usually keep my fingernails clear of anything. But I’ve had the fake nails before. Oh, yes I have. They were the “pink and white” variety, which essentially means thick pink gels and white gels being plastered and polished to your modest fingers. Sure, they looked great, but the pain and discomfort? I can’t even describe. For one, the tips of my fingers were so traumatized for days from all the pressure and work they underwent, making typing on my laptop one of the more difficult transitions I’ve ever had to make since learning to walk as a baby. Second, I couldn’t button buttons, open plastic packaging or pick at apple skins stuck in my teeth. Virtually anything that my fingernails were useful for vanished. I mean, apart from scratching the dog. In retrospect, that was a time when animals really liked me. Yeah, still not worth it because when you get those nails stuck in something, so help you God, you will scream, cry and “overreact” in the most understandable of ways.

What am I trying to prove by posting these crazy ass nails? I don’t know, that they’re insane? That women don’t really make sense? That women are goddesses for putting up with this? I have no idea. But I can’t look away! My car lane has officially succumbed to gawker traffic of the worst kind. I guess… I… I just want to apologize, in advance, to all the women’s nails I will be staring at from now until forever?

And if I ever start gluing marbles on my fingers, someone please slap me. I’m a curious person. I’ll probably do it because my curiosity always gets the best of me. Slap me and remind me that this is something I do not want. Ugh, if only someone told me that when I was stuck and cornered in the nail salon. Those Vietnamese girls are some serious sales women…

And because it seems appropriate, here’s Flyndia getting all Pikachu. Don’t worry, she’s painting fake nails. It’ll be okay.

[via HighSnobette]

The moon has quite the effect on not only the Earth, but everyone on it as well. Have you not noticed how ridiculously ridiculous people act on the night of a full moon? Yeah, sometimes you’re better off to staying inside. Anyway, The Emotion Lab’s Moonwatch strives to track and connect our emotional patterns in comparison to the state of the moon’s cycle. Oh, and it tells time at the push of a button too.

Gotta love a watch that can do that! Time, emotions, space and style? What more can a geek want? … Don’t answer that.

Check out the Moonwatch here.

[via MoCoLoco]

Tis the season where ladies get to have a little extra fun with their fingernails. Mostly because now they can match them to their toes. Anyway, while these turtles could have totally passed unnoticed as Christmas nails, I think they’ll fit in just fine this spring. Especially if you want to spruce it up with a lighter green. Now, I don’t actually know who’s hanging out on the thumb, but I like to think it’s Splinter.

[via SLM]

There have been many occasions where I was met with the fantastic conclusion to a fantastic meal, the mint flavored toothpick. Oooooh, mint flavored toothpick. You make on the spot good hygiene and habitual chewing so very sweet. Everyday, I wish to thank the person who invented you. Okay, I’m lying. The only time I ever think about you, mint flavored toothpick, is when I’m actually picking away with a mint flavored toothpick. Oh, and now. Because I don’t even know how I could swap you out, despite our very limited friendship, with a bacon flavored toothpick… But then I remember how much I love bacon, and how yesterday’s insane bacon breakfast sandwich has kicked off a new set of cravings, making bacon sound like an inevitably great idea. I’m stumped, folks. You decide.

Bacon Flavored Toothpicks are available from Amazon for $4.00 a pack.

[via Uncrate]

Yikes. I guess this would be the follow up to a foot in the mouth, huh? Yeah, doesn’t seem that much better, but at least it’s a step up in hygiene. Actually, this is an ad by Y & R and photographer James Day for an upcoming super duper tooth brush, the Colgate 360 Sonic Power. Boasting a “333 strokes per second” uber brushing power, hence all of them brushes ready to suffocate out dear friend here, I think it’s safe to say that we’re getting closer and closer to the ultimate tooth brush of the future. That’s great and all, and before this very moment I would have been impressed by your speed of brush, Colgate, but after looking at this ad, I’m kind of scared to use it. Not to mention, I already make enough bewildered and deer-in-headlights looks a day.

[via TrendsNow]

So I just had a major girl freak out over here. I happen to be a fan of painting my face (not on a daily or weekly basis mind you) and while I continue to have mixed feelings about Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland, I think I found the middle ground where the film and I can finally meet. Because at least with this kick ass Limited Edition Alice In Wonderland Book Of Shadows eye makeup kit, I can diffuse my hatred for Crispin Glover’s unnecessarily CGI’d body all while productively achieving that sexy emerald look I’ve been going for. Who am I kidding? I’m gonna look like a clown. I don’t care! Moving on.

Here’s the deal-y-cakes. Kits are selling out, buuuuuuut if you head on over to Urban Decay’s site, you can enter a contest to win one (along with some fancy ass necklace that apparently is really expensive and yes, kind of cool except that you’ll probably not wear it) from now until the 24th. Why am I telling you this? I mean, this does decrease my chances of winning. Because I have male readers as well, ladies. And if they want to keep reading, they will enter and send their winnings to me.

And their money. You know, just for kicks.

Seriously though, if you’re good for it, the Alice In Wonderland Book of Shadows box is available from Ulta for $52.00.

UPDATE: I guess it’s not available online. You’re such a tease, Ulta.

[via TrendsNow]

Because somewhere, deep in a dark cave, the soap elves are continuing to advance soap technology until we won’t be able to tell the difference between our grandparents and a bar of Zest. Things just keep on getting better, don’t they? So where’s my matching soap Atari 2600 so I can play my soap game of soap Pitfall. That sure would make my soap day. Soap.

Old School Joy Soap is available from the EatSleepShop Etsy shop for $3.00.

[via technabob]

I happen to know a gaggle of boys who have outfitted their bathroom with the bloody shower curtain and bath mat, and I can’t help but fight the urge to enable their seemingly gross bathroom hygiene with the Blood Bath Shower Gel. It’s just too perfect…ly disgusting. But as long as they hide the bag whenever the plumber drops buy, no one will suspect a thing thus keeping all the Satanic rituals they’ve actually been performing in their bath tub a secret still. I mean, until now. Sorry, guys.

The Blood Bath Shower Gel is available for pre-order from SpinningHat for about $8.00.

[via NerdApproved]

I haven’t decided if this is an excuse to write about a bra or Wonder Woman, but it’s no doubt an opportunity I fully intend to cease and fulfill. There are a lot of things I can imply to the ladies about wearing a Wonder Woman bra concerning their increase of attractiveness to the male (and sure, female) persuasion, but that’d be as cliché telling you the sky was blue or that Ryan Seacrest was a big ol’ fart nugget. Sorry, I just really wanted to say “fart nugget” and I really want everyone to own this bra. Why? Because it will make you a better person from the inside out. Or, erm, the underside up…? Whatever, buy it.

The Wonderwoman Bra is available from TopShop (go flippin’ figure) for about $28.00. If you’re ordering from the US you can check out the US listing here.

[via FashionablyGeek]