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Brief Jerky
By nikkita | May 20, 2009
I accept that beef jerky is an edible commodity that many people enjoy, even if I do not. I do not judge the enjoyment of beef jerky because your pro beef jerky attitude is not hurting me or my family. We can live in peace, you with your beef jerky and me without. But let’s be serious, when you’re wearing beef jerky on your butt something needs to be said.
We joked about it long enough, it was time to make dreams come true! Please allow us to introduce our first EVER pair of beef jerky underwear we call BRIEF JERKY. Note the time and care that has gone into crafting this wonderful undergarment. The attention to the properly placed groments that enhance the wearers comfort! We’ve even “bedazzled” this pair and added our Mixed Species logo on the back next to a heart of rhinestones. All in time for Father’s Day!
We consider these to be the first in “meat haute coutoure”. They are made to order for each specific customer from the highest quality of dried preserved meats we can find at the closest convenience store. This particular pair was created to fit our very own model Hairy McSpecies! We will be adding his “action shots” soon. Currently there are too many good photos to choose from. Rumor has it that wearing our BRIEF JERKY undergarments will release their natural pheremones once your body heat and moisture kicks in!
Ewwwwwwww. As for all of you boys who were getting all hyped up on the prospects of a girl in beef jerky underwear, just take a look at this.
Yeah, it’s a dude. And if this image is going to be burned into my mind for the rest of time, I’m bringing you down with me.
Brief jerky is available from the mixedspecies Etsy shop for $139.00. Now don’t get your hopes up, it’s untreated and therefore, inedible. Maybe I should have mentioned that before I traumatized you with a man’s jerky covered crotch. Nah, I stick by it.
Topics: Edibles, WTF, Wearables | No Comments »
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