Happy 4th Of July - Celebrate The Independence Of Your Nation By Blowing Up A Small Part Of It
By nikkita | July 3, 2009
Ah, the 4th of July . Like many other holidays, we have completely done away with its meaning but kept the color scheme so we can guide our guests with overly “patriotic” decorations to our bodacious barbecues where they will eat hundreds of hamburgers and drink copious amounts of alcoholic beverages. If that wasn’t fulfilling enough, we then proceed to play with fire and blow shit up. It really goes without saying that I love this silly holiday, but if I have to wake up to the sound of cannons or whatever it was they were blasting off last Memorial Day, there will be hell to pay.
Now despite all the food and booze, it’s really the fireworks that make Independence Day special, so let us pay homage to them, the stupid people they attack, nostalgia and silly patriotism at its finest. Take it away, Muppets!
And if things go wrong, don’t forget…
Have wonderful and safe holiday! Enjoy the skies and wait 30 minutes after eating before going in the pool. Also, if you see a bunch of drunk renegades in a pickup truck, doing keg stands in the back while setting off giant rockets, do not hesitate to call the police. They’re getting paid extra after all.
Topics: Holidays, Video | No Comments »
Gun Vodka!
By nikkita | July 2, 2009
Now that’s what I call a shot of vodka. The first set includes a bottle of Red Army Vodka in the shape of an AK-47, a notorious gun fabricated in 1947 by the Soviet Mikhaïl Kalachnikov which was commonly used but the Soviets during WWII. Do you know what would really make your Red Army party a blast? The AK-Ice Tray.
The second picture is a bottle of Pepesza Vodka, modled after yet another WWII Soviet gun, the Pistolet-Pulemet Shpagina. I always knew the Russians loved their vodka, but I guess they love their guns too? Whatever, as long as the only thing they’re shooting is a bottle of distilled liquor, then it’s gravy. It’s cold there. Let them drink all they want.
Now if you’ll excuse me, between this and seeing Public Enemies earlier this week (meh), I’ve had enough with guns. Technically, I’ve had enough with vodka, but I need to go collect some ingredients for a 4th of July batch of Creamsicle Jell-o shots. I have no idea how this will turn out but a certain someone’s mother has some expectations and I plan to fulfill them.
Topics: Edibles, Fierce, party | No Comments »
STFU, Parents
By nikkita | July 2, 2009
Do you know what else is embarrassing? You, mom.
We’ve dealt with every kind of person in internet land. The troll, the bigot, the idiot, the serial dater, etc. The list goes on for miles. But the newer social perpetrators of the net actually come from a very old profession: the new parent. And because there are sites dedicated to keeping the jerks and morons in check, it’s only fair the same is done with the overly open and self righteous parent. I present, STFU Parents, a Tumblr of the most embarrassing and obnoxious mommy and daddy related Facebook status posts.
I confess, I’m not a mother. But I have one and let me tell you, she can’t stand the lot of you! Quite frankly, the majority of her generation can’t stand you! Why? Because they raised us to be functional human beings without the constant verification of an overly public website. They did it on their own and many times completely by themselves. And seriously, you’re getting really creepy with all of the pictures and the extensive despcriptions of their digestive patterns. There are plenty of things that do not need to be shared to the world via Facebook, especially for your own safety and well being. Man, I really hope someone doesn’t steal your baby just to fuck with you because I can’t promise I won’t. What I can promise is that you will never see pictures of my child’s poop. Someone else’s poop, maybe. But my baby’s? Never. Sheesh, ‘rents. Show some respect for your kid.
BTW, a new dad sent this to me so cool your jets. Thanks, Marvin!
Topics: Kids, Life, WTF | No Comments »
Ducks Vs. Escalator
By nikkita | July 2, 2009
Why are these ducks trying to climb up a down escalator? The real question is why aren’t there more ducks trying to climb up more down escalators? Probably because that’d be pretty cruel, but hey, it’s their fault for being so cute at everything.
Topics: Death By Cuteness, Video | No Comments »
The Softer Side Of Star Wars - Felted Jabba and Sarlacc Pillow
By nikkita | July 2, 2009
The Sarlacc Pit is not really somewhere you’d ever consider resting any part of your body let alone your head. The Sarlacc Pillow on the other hand… well, I don’t think I really want to put my head on that either. I have enough problems with my ears as is.
Dare I say that Jabba is looking kind of cute these days? We can thank the much anticipate Stitch Wars exhibition for both that and the Sarlacc Pit pillow. The exhibition will be running from July 18th and August 29th at the Bear and Bird Gallery in Lauderhill Florida.
Topics: Art, Crafts, Film, Geek, design, events | No Comments »
Lesson Learned: Research Your Neighbors Before You Attack Them And/Or Stop Being A Huge Douche Bag
By nikkita | July 2, 2009
Douche bag extraordinaire, Gregory McCalium, decided to teach his 72 year old neighbor, Frank Corti, a little lesson about calling the cops on his party with a pair of brass knuckles and a knife. He’s a 24 y/o bartender, I guess he has a reputation to maintain. So what happened? He got his ass totally handed to him. You see, his elderly neighbor just so happened to be a retired boxer.
The blows were so powerful that McCalium, who had just lunged at Mr Corti with the knife, was left looking like he had been in ‘a car accident’.
The pensioner then restrained him until police arrived. He was jailed for four and a half years yesterday after a judge told him he had ‘got what he deserved’.
…
Oxford Crown Court heard the break-in was the culmination of a long-running dispute over noise between the neighbours, who live in Botley, Oxford.
McCalium, a barman, was having a rowdy party at his house on August 18 last year when police turned up after a complaint from a neighbour.
McCalium assumed it had been made by Mr Corti - who won the National Association of Boys’ Clubs Championship in Birmingham when he was 16 - and broke into his neighbour’s home at 8am the following day.
Mr Corti, who was with his wife Margaret at the time, dodged out of the way of his attacker’s lunge and punched him, giving him a black eye and a split lip, before subduing him.
…
He added: ‘ Photographs of the defendant showed what looked like a car accident and photos of the scene looked more like a murder scene.’
Um, I think I love this story. Go elderly boxers!
[DailyMail via BoingBoing]
Topics: Fierce, World | No Comments »
Taco Bell Goes Green
By nikkita | July 2, 2009
I’ve seen Taco Bell go green before… on the floor of my brother’s car. Those are smells I’d like to forget.
Topics: Funny, Video | No Comments »
Neill’s A-Z Of Awesomeness - Now That’s My Kind Of Alphabet
By nikkita | July 1, 2009
Comic book artist Neill Cameron has taken the daily task of illustrating the alphabet, one letter at a time, as pertaining to readers’ suggestions. Why? Because he loves you. Or because thinking up something new and clever every day is truly a daunting task. Nah, he just loves you.
This is - patently - inspired by Garen’s A-Z of Comic Strip Characters from last year, because.. well, because that was fantastic and looked like a lot of fun to do. I’m widening the remit for my attempt, from comic strips to the wider world of pop cultural entertainment. You may suggest characters from film, animation, TV, literature… anything, really, so long as it is AWESOME.
(And yeah, I actually kind of hate the word ‘awesome’, but it’s the best I could think of to encapsulate the general aura of geeky thrills I’m going to be aiming for here.)
So for each letter of the alphabet I am going to let people suggest a character, and I will then draw that character, on a daily basis. Got it? You are also allowed to suggest what that character should be doing, with bonus points awarded for imaginative alliteration.
So for example, for B:
Batman = good.
Batman Beating up a Bear = better
I don’t know Neill, I love the word awesome.
As of today we’re up to R so there’s only a few more characters to go. If you have any suggestions, send ‘em on over to Neill via facebook group or twitter. Check out Neill’s A-Z of Awesomeness here!
Thanks, Paige!
Topics: Art, Snazzy | No Comments »
First Aid For Wedding Emergencies
By nikkita | July 1, 2009
I’d be the first to tell you that weddings are an absolute disaster and should be avoided (unless an open bar is guaranteed). But sometimes we don’t really have a choice and must attend or you know, get married. Don’t worry, I may be critical but I won’t judge you. I’ve dined in hell for a free meal, you can bet I’ve attended a wedding or two for one as well. At least the First Aid for Wedding Emergencies video series can prepare us for whatever chaos may ensue. Plus, they’re totally right on about the cake finger scoop. I totally remember that maneuver from a safety video in high school health class.
Topics: Life, Video, events | No Comments »
Brad Pitt Does Japan
By nikkita | July 1, 2009
While we’re busy watching Brad Pitt bust some Nazi butt in the trailers for Inglourious Basterds, Japan will get to see a softer and more submissive side of him as he plays butler to Sumo champion Musashimaru for a series of SoftBank commercials. Then again, I guess you could say we already saw him get soft and submissive after he dived into a wave of babies. Apparently sultry lips and baby tsunamis can do that to a man. Anywho, I approve.
Topics: TV, Video, World | No Comments »
What The Hell Is That!?!? - UPDATED!!!
By nikkita | July 1, 2009
This is said to be footage of some kind of unknown life form living in the sewers of Cameron Village in Raleigh, North Carolina. Real or not, that thing is foul and terrifying. Thanks a lot YouTube. After I finally got over my childhood fears of “things” crawling out of the faucet and shower head, I now have to worry about what’s coming up through the drain. I hate you.
P.S. If I’m going to have nightmares about this…thing, I’m bringing you all down with me.
UPDATE!!: It’s legit. Dr. Timothy S. Wood, an expert on freshwater bryozoa and an officer with the International Bryozoology Association was tracked down by DeepSeaNews to get some answers about the sewage monster. Here’s his response to the creepy video that horrified all of us yesterday.
Thanks for the video – I had not see it before. No, these are not bryozoans! They are clumps of annelid worms, almost certainly tubificids (Naididae, probably genus Tubifex). Normally these occur in soil and sediment, especially at the bottom and edges of polluted streams. In the photo they have apparently entered a pipeline somehow, and in the absence of soil they are coiling around each other. The contractions you see are the result of a single worm contracting and then stimulating all the others to do the same almost simultaneously, so it looks like a single big muscle contracting. Interesting video.
… I have to admit, I’m still completely horrified. Check out a video of the icky worm-ies after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »
Topics: Unexplained, Video, WTF | No Comments »
How About Them Apples - Fruity Sticky Notes
By nikkita | July 1, 2009
Whether they’re a passive aggressive note on an ice tray or a naughty little sketch that you sneaked into your buddy’s term paper, sticky notes are pretty fun as is. And while the yellow cube never left much for the imagination, they have evolved into different colors, shapes and sizes for maximum sticky potential. So what’s next for the sticky note? Metamorphosis, of course! Well, not really. Just kind of. Take these apple and pear shaped sticky notes from D-BROS, a kind of redefinition of the “pad”. Still totally awesome and fun (and now kind of delicious).
Topics: Snazzy, design | No Comments »
Bird Headband?
By nikkita | July 1, 2009
I’ll be first to admit that I’ve abused a feathered accessory or two but this is just ridiculous. Then again, maybe I’m just not hip enough. We’ll see about that after I take my gold chains and puffy paint bath. I’ll be so ironic, it’ll hurt.
Topics: WTF, Wearables | No Comments »
LED Wings
By nikkita | June 30, 2009
It’s out with the boas and in with the LEDs. Finally. I never thought I’d see the end of its feathery tackiness. As for the LEDs, they are pretty much the secret to updating our outdated fashion. I know, it’s a bold statement to make. But think about it. When you were a kid with a Lite Bright, didn’t you think you’d have clothes made out of bulbs by the time you grew up? How was Petere Gabriel the only one to cash in on that? While you’ll probably be waiting for a while for that flying car you’ve been bargaining for since you were 5, at least your girlfriend can wear a glowing bra on Halloween.
Check out Enlighted’s Lighted Wings collection here.
Topics: Tech, Wearables | No Comments »
Matt W. Moore’s Kick Ass Mini Coopers
By nikkita | June 30, 2009
I used to think the key to happiness was a key to a Mini Cooper with a Union Jack painted across it’s roof and hood. Obviously I was wrong. So very wrong. These Space Invaders, Pac-Man and retro themed Minis were designed by Portland-based artist Matt W. Moore because, well, I don’t know. Just because? We’ll find out soon according to TCH. Until then, give me the freakin’ keys!
Bah, what a tease.
Topics: Games, Geek, Snazzy, Vehicular, design | No Comments »
Spaghetti Cake
By nikkita | June 30, 2009
Yup, that’s a cake.
Topped with massive amounts of stringy frosting and chocolate meatballs, I can’t help but feel a little sad. I don’t know why a novelty cake could ever make me sad, but I think it’s because I just really want a giant plate of spaghetti.
Want to make your own spaghetti cake? Check out the recipe here.
Topics: Edibles | No Comments »
Professor Layton Is On Twitter!
By nikkita | June 30, 2009
It seems as if everyone is on Twitter these days. From Helen Keller to non stop news and farts, Twitter is the mind-numbing place to be. Mind-numbing until Professor Layton showed up. That’s right, Professor Layton has a Twitter and just in time to hold us over with daily riddles until the August release of The Diabolical Box. And now I have a new aspiration to own Twitter at said riddles. It is so on.
See you in hell, tweeters!
Follow Professor Layton here.
Topics: Games, Geek | No Comments »
Chew - Because It’s Cute When They Chew Your Stuff?
By nikkita | June 30, 2009
Dogs like to chew. More importantly, dogs like to chew on your nice things. That’s why Chew is here to help. The rubber chew toy is designed to wrap around the legs of your prized furnishings to protect them from pooch destruction.
…And who thought this was a good idea? When I wanted my dog to stop chewing the wall at the top of the stairs, I didn’t cover it in peanut butter. It’s like sticking a lollipop in an electrical socket in your kid’s room and closing the door behind you. Or keeping your diamond ring in a bucket of chum when out tagging sharks. When did people get so…stupid?
Topics: WTF | No Comments »
Teen Girl Discovers Supernova
By nikkita | June 29, 2009
14 year old Caroline Moore has just made history by being the youngest person to discover a supernova. Take that, Maury!
While scouting the skies with her amateur telescope, 14-year-old New Yorker Caroline Moore discovered a new, junior-sized supernova, and thus became the youngest person in history ever to do so. The new celestial object, dubbed SN 2008ha, is also very peculiar, and may very well represent a new class of stellar explosions. It’s about 1,000 times more powerful than a nova explosion, but about 1,000 times weaker in intensity than a supernova, and astronomers believe that this may be the weakest supernova explosion ever seen.
I struggle to remember anything significant I did when I was 14 except listen to a whole lot of Daft Punk. Not much has changed…
Super mega props to you, Caroline!
Topics: Space | No Comments »
Tee Time
By nikkita | June 29, 2009
Being a musical elitist is tough. Exhausting, really. Why do people have to expect you to dumb down to their level when obviously you first started listening to Miles Davis in the womb. Don’t worry, at least other elitists can understand. I mean, except the ones who have out-elited you, in which case, you’re no better than that one guy who just discovered The Beatles after only listening to The Dave Matthews Band for the past decade.
The elitist social ladder is a tall one to climb, so save yourself some time and explanation with the Musical Elitism Venn Diagram tee from DieselSweeties for $16.99. At least it’ll keep the Maroon 5 fans off your back… for now.
Topics: Music, Wearables, tee time | No Comments »